(Original title: sister was born, 6 year old brother has repeatedly pierced a toothpick onto the doll! ）
Today, lap children, and many parents will certainly be regarded as “life winners”. Zhejiang Province, a Deputy Director of psychiatric hospitals into the age of Ying Zhang, recent new baby daughter, sons and daughters, who should have been happy, but he faces of happiness “growing pains.”
He sent the journalist two photographs, which are made of a rubber bird doll head, poke a toothpick on from all sides, looked a little terror.
Small days to rubber stamp on the birds head 4 toothpick. Ying Zhang
“This is my eldest son stamp after the birth of his baby sister. “The doctors told me.
What the hell is going on here? Pressed, doctors told me the whole story, and hope that through his experience, reminding those who prepared or had parents gave birth to a second child, a timely concern home “Dumbo” mood, prevent mental illness.
Little sister bad name
Get rid of the habit of licking their fingers appeared
My son is one of those more introverted, gentle vigour of child, name days (not his real name), 6 years old, likes to quietly at home and watch TV, play with toys.
One-child policy before, we didn’t want a second couple, so nicely: I am responsible for taking him out to play, his mother often told him stories, get him in bed, Grandma will take care of the daily food, home with him as the Center.
Two-child policy in these two years, though my mother and he is a little big, but you can also catch the last bus, we plan to have another, or small day company.
We asked small: “give you a brother or sister, OK? ”
Little days agreed at the time was frank: “well! I love it! I can play with TA, you can also teach TA write! ”
Therefore, we feel free to pregnant.
Last year, little on the day of her mother’s arms, little day performance was no exception.
The calm, continued until the small days hospitalized expectant MOM.
His mother accompanied him to sleep every day in the past, when the hospital, little night to see her mother.
I can see, little began to feel some changes in his life, he was not used to.
Sister came out, I’m happy Strip he went to the hospital to see his mother. Has always been very sticky mother little day, see the mother holding the baby sister, stood aloof, unwilling to go.
“Do you like my little sister? “I asked him, he replied,” like “,” you give little sister a name, OK? “I asked him, as a result, he adopted a very good animal names, called the turtle or something.
We say that the name is not good, you change, and second name or bad.
At this point, I am son of sister may be a little hostile.
I also noted that the sons had broken the habit of licking their fingers and likes to suck his thumb.
Licking their fingers, and generally occurs in infants up to 3 body (Oral stage), the 6-year-olds should not have, kinds of degenerative behavior is often a manifestation of child stress, anxiety.
However, because Albert verbally kept saying like sister, so I hope I’m being too sensitive.
Rubber birds head poked with toothpicks
Father secretly pulled out the next day and was stamped on the
However, what happened later confirmed my guess.
Small day mother lived in the hospital for 7 days, then returned to home confinement, son followed later, my mother-in-law reported home after work every day.
One day, my mother-in-law House tidy little Tin toys, found a poke with a toothpick on the rubber birds, bird head was the size of my finger.
I feel not yourself, son had never been this violent.
On that day I also didn’t go off, all pulled out a toothpick, put the bird back to the toys.
The results, the next day, the birds head stamp with a toothpick!
I pretended not to ask: “who is this bar? ”
Small day was directly admitted that his stamp: “this bird looks a bit mean! Looks very annoying, so I’m going to hit it! ”
Child’s behavior will reflect his inner emotions.
Small never of this violent attack, is a theory of children, since after his mother gave birth to his sister, he has changed.
At this point, I suddenly remembered that I used to reception of a patients-a 20 year old college student, often expressed negative views on the Internet, for example, “why God so unfair to me,” “in this world I the same as me” “I have seen” and so on, was later found by his father, brought here for treatment.
He was diagnosed with depressive personality of University students. Communication with the patient and his father, I find that the College student when in fact quite lively and cheerful, but since 9 years old after his parents gave him a sister, he gradually became silent, communicating with parents is becoming scarce, feeling easily down, sentimental. The formation of the depression of University students ‘ personality, and his regeneration has a sister, and may not be timely attention was his emotions are not unrelated.
In this case, I started to sit up, I don’t want my son’s character is slowly being affected.
But it was still just a child of 6, I have no idea and he speaks a lot of truth, and I saw it, small day more likely to hide their real thoughts, I directly asked if he was sister and estimated he would deny them.
Said the doctor cure cure for others, treating their loved ones often do not cure, there is some truth in this. One time, I also think well how to adjust the little Tin mood.
Small day tell the story of when he was a child
Love slowly moved his
Later, I Advisory has I of many peer, combined they of views, again added I on small days of understand, began action has–I put small days plush head Shi of photo are finishing out, again put small days hold in arms in, to he told these photos of story: “small days Ah, you see, you and sister as, is from mother belly in health out of, a began is plush head. When you, MOM and dad very, very nervous, because the time has not yet come out, you’re in Mommy’s tummy a little oxygen. So you was half a month premature, is cut out from the Mommy’s tummy. At birth, you are very thin and small, in the neonatal intensive care unit for 10 days. At that time, you live upstairs, my mother lived downstairs, MOM every day thinking of you, dad to see you every day. Finally wait until your weight has increased, we are happy to bring you home. At that time, MOM and dad often gives you in the evening, although already very tired during the day, but at night he always hold you, gently patting you belch out of your milk, and then you go to sleep. Also, you need to change your diaper, urine feces … … So take care of your every day, you can grow so large it…… “
Small listened, didn’t say anything, but he relies on me more and more tight, getting in that happy smile on her face.
I went on: “when you grow up, will take care of myself, but my little sister and now you’d like to talk, did not move, also need care. If MOM and dad don’t take care of my little sister, she will do? ”
Little days then naturally: “that’s not right, she needs to take care of, or else she will get hungry. ”
“So should take care of MOM and dad are also small when, taking care of little sister? ”
“Well, Yes. ”
After this Exchange, small days seemed to be really sensible, and begin to really like my little sister.
Sometimes I joke with his mother, said little sister is so boring, give good, small but days will try so hard to say, “no, no, little sister is our home. “He has started to learn how to protect his little sister.
This time, the young mother gave birth to little sister, looks about 10 days.
Later, when I go and tidy little Tin toys, discovered rubber-coated toothpicks on the bird is gone.
Don’t let the “great treasure”
“Two” after birth
The feeling of being left out
Chang went home after this, more deeply understand the two children on the psychological impact of the first child.
Two days ago, a friend of his gave birth to two children, while Ying Zhang to congratulate them, except to buy diapers, for small children, also bought gifts for children.
When Ying Zhang took gifts to children, said he could have the distinct feeling that big kid happy.
“Sometimes I think our generation, parents have five or six, not between brothers and sisters did not feel properly; why is now just one more, the psychological impact on children will be so great? I think this is now home to the kids too, baby. ”
Ying Zhang explained that, at the beginning, people thought that can only have one child, so put all resources at home as much as possible in the first child, the child also believes he is the only family Center.
“When a child after the formation of this self-centeredness, home and then had a second child, Dabao will feel their space is being violated, their love was robbed by two. So, once the first child experienced ‘ only Centers ‘ situation, he will take care of the two children is unbearable, there will be attacks. ”
Ying Zhang said that in the case of two children now become more common, parents need to pay more attention to this is an only child, but now is only “first” children’s mental health issues, timely and sensitive to their psychological loss.
Different babies have different ways to ease, but the unifying principle is to do two things –
First, don’t let the “great treasure” in “two” after birth, have the feeling of being left out;
Then, when I felt “great treasure” emotions, communicate, make him understand that parents focus on “two” body is only temporary.
“Parents can get the great treasure, a brother and sister is a lot of good things for him; or often boast exaggerated treasure, praised Bao’s strengths, advantages do not take advantage of Andy to contrast, stimulate greater treasure. ”